A young woman out of Paris recently published a book “I hate men” and well I thought I would weigh in on this and share some of my own experiences.
Me too in my opinion was derailed when the worlds attention turned to covid, because for some reason covid is a pandemic yet violence against women, not so important, or should I say less important.
I am going to outline a few reasons why women hate men, feel free to comment because the last time I checked we still live in a democratic society. I feel there are many valid reasons why women should hate men. The number one reason is this, men are the first and foremost reason for death of women in NA. I am not kidding here, more women will die at the hands of a man then cancer or heart disease. How is this not an important issue, and in the majority of these deaths almost everytime that woman will know who did it, because it is usually someone close to her.
Lets talk about sexual assault, men commit more violent and sexual assault crimes against women then the other way around. I myself was sexually assaulted by a close friend, someone I had been friends with for years, I am going to trial in a couple months and will have to face him.
Let me assure you, sexual assault is not on the decline, only 2 out of 10 assaults actually get reported as the woman is too afraid to go through reliving what happened to them and in extreme cases these women live with it or they commit suicide. Oh and of the number reported only half that number will get convicted. That leaves basically 1 conviction for every 10 sexual assaults that occur. I myself am not ashamed, I will face him and I will tell my story, he will not scare me into thinking it was my fault.
​
I am not alone when I say I also have been sexually harassed in the work place. I have heard numerous stories of women being pressured by co workers or bosses. One story is from a woman I know who says a man grabbed her as she walked past him in the hallway and when she turned back all he said was how her ass looked in the skirt she was wearing. I saw a post from a man on Linkedin saying he got in trouble from HR for commenting on a young womans outfit. I said to him he should stay away from commenting on a womans outfit in the work place, compliment her on her job not how she looks. Also If HR had to pull you aside, you clearly made a comment that warranted that woman to go to HR in the first place. After I made this comment to him, yes you know who you are, he said I have bad manners. Hmm…not sure where I had bad manners by pointing out to him that his actions did have repercussions as stated that HR got involved. These are the type of men I am referring to, they think they are one of the good guys, they are not.
I thought I was alone in men linking in with me on Linkedin just to hit on me, nope it happens all the time to a lot of women. I am now wary of accepting any invitations, if I do not know you and you are not in my field then chances are I will not link in with you. Linkedin is not a dating website, and we women are just trying to do our job. I do report their behaviour to Linkedin, which in only one case they removed the person off Linkedin, but basically nothing happens.
Do I personally think there are some great men out there….hmmm…I think there are, however those that do support women are not vocal enough. Everytime you allow a male friend to objectify or make sexual comments about a woman and you stay silent then you too are part of the problem.
It is time for women to get more vocal not less as it relates to inequality and sexual harassment and for those men who sit by and watch and do nothing, it is time for you too to step up against this. They say the sexes are becoming more divided and I agree that it is happening and the reason and blame do not fall on the women. We have tried for decades and decades to be treated fairly and with respect and have made some progress but not nearly enough. What truly irks me in many of the scenarios I have discussed as it relates to violence and harassment against women, these same men have daughters, and only when it will one day occur to their own will they see this is a problem. Its like they separate themselves from the problem. Any man who does not defend a woman to help is also part of the problem.
International womens day is upon us and I would like to say we are making progress, I feel Me Too needs to get lit up again, covid distracted us for too long. I personally will probably never date again due to the fact that I really do believe there are so few good men out there that I would rather work on my home reno projects then face another man over a glass of wine. Why do you ask? For all the reasons I have mentioned and personally you can call me a man hater or a bitter woman and I say this. We have many valid reasons for hating men and it is really sad, when all we seek is to be equal, to be treated fairly, be paid fairly and not have some man comment on how our breasts or ass looks in a dress.
Think if the roles were reversed for just a moment and women had the upper hand as it relates to being the more physically stronger sex and we could overpower any man. How would you feel if women were constantly making comments about you and grabbing your ass at work, where you may get raped by someone you know. Men do not realize what it feels to be a woman, some days it really does make us feel in adequate.
I teach my daughter to stand up for herself, do not let anyone undervalue who you are.
My last thoughts on this are this.
Listen to the women in your lives, strive to be a man who really does want to make a difference or the divide will continue, I feel it already. Many women have been so disenchanted by men that they have given up on dating and are choosing to be alone because they have no desire to be with any man.
Men, if you want to make a difference then be the voice that stands up for women, do not make comments either behind a womans back or to her face that is sexual in nature. Tell all your male friends also they too need to do better. Treat all the women in your life with respect, you can be the voice that helps this movement because it has not gone far enough.
For the men who think it has gone too far, sorry but you are part of the problem, I have heard your comments that these women are bitches with an axe to grind, well you clearly have heard nothing, if the roles were reversed you would be outraged. Everytime you make sexual jokes or comments against any woman you are the problem.
So in conclusion do I personally hate men….Yes I do hate the ones that continue to think that women are just complaining and think sexual harassment in the workplace is not happening or turn a blind eye, or joke about womens body parts or suggest sex on a first date and then laugh it off that is was a joke.
Those men I do Hate and to circle back to the young lady who wrote the book I hate men. She has received numerous death threats and rape threats from men, so it proves the point that men well, we do have a lot of reasons to hate you, do better, teach better, be better. You have the power to change this or the divide will continue, and yes that saddens me.