Its been a long time since I have been on a date, some post 18 mos now and at the push of my girlfriend K I agree, knowing full well that means. It as painful as an interview or a root canal, but I always try to put my best foot forward.
I match with an attractive man, my age, in shape, ok and he does not waste a lot of time to ask me out. I would rather meet someone in real life then endless texts so I agree to a date for drinks at a nice restaurant downtown.
Now a lot of you know me and if you do not read all my other dating disasters, you will see I am always on time and sometimes early by 5 or 10 mins. He said he made reservations but when I show up well they do not seem to have one, hmm not good.
The restaurant is not busy so I am able to get a table with little difficulty. I text him to let him know I am at the restaurant, no response. I wait 15 mins (that is what I give someone then I leave). I just am about to leave when he walks in, no apologies.
He orders a beer, who the hell orders a beer at a wine bar….that he choose, oh well. He keeps looking at his watch. Am I keeping you from something I say, no…no… I am just due at my buddys place in 40 mins. He then tells me the reason they did not have a reservation is because online he uses his middle name and the reservation is under his actual name. So he is late, gave me the wrong name, oh and then tells me his age is 3 years older. No thanks I am out.
I finish my wine and say bye, nothing more in my opinion is needed, next time try honesty and maybe be on time…jeez.
I tell my girlfriend this, and she says, yup, pretty typical of what is out there, and it’s the laziness of men today, they treat women with so little respect and women allow it. Ladies you teach people how to treat you and to me this date was so unacceptable, and he asked for my number after and I said for what, so you can tell me a few more lies, no thanks, if you cannot tell a person your name and show up on time, not interested.
The next date started off really well, he asked me out right away and we actually had a lot in common. We were the same age, in shape, smart and a real gentlemen.
He asked me out and said I do have to tell you I actually am in a cast an am on crutched. Oh dear I say (he had torn some muscles and the doctor put him a cast for them to heal), the injury was in his lower leg.
We agreed to meet outside have some wine, a picnic. He shows up on crutches and brings flowers and a chacuterie board, it was lovely, and we did indeed have a lovely time.
He texts me the next day to ask me out on a real date, so far so good. We had really nice conversations, I will say it is not necessary, at least for me to get texts from you daily, I know some women like this, but I prefer in person conversations, so one deduction for many texts throughout the day. I do think he got the picture, just do not respond during work hours.
The next date he sets up dinner at Notables, love that place. We have a drink then settle in to our table. Again, nice conversation, very pleasant man, great food and atmosphere. He was a real gentlemen.
He asks if we could do something the next day, which was a Sunday. I do not normally go on 2 dates in 2 days but it was a lovely Sunday and agreed to an afternoon drive to Bragg Creek and have lunch.
I drove because it would have been difficult for him to do so, I pull up and he is ready to go so I do not get to see the inside of his house, perhaps when I drop him off.
Now the reason I would like a peek at the inside of his place, well I want to know, is he messy, does it look like a dorm room. A man over 50 should have some sense of style by now and should know how to pick up after himself.
We had a lovely time again and lunch. I was beginning to like this man, fun, smart, and a real gentlemen.
We drive back to the city and I offer to carry some items he bought into the house as he was on crutches, he does so but I can sense he may not be ready for me to see his place and I know why.
He did mention he had gotten a puppy recently, and he now was letting it out of its kennel. The puppy is so high strung that it pees on the floor in front of me and then jumps in it then on me, so yes not I have dog urine on me. He apologized and lets the puppy into the fenced in yard, while he gets a mop, keep in mind he is on crutches, so of course I help.
As I am mopping up dog urine, I hear this loud shrieking coming from the corner of his living room that startles me, the man owns a grey parrot.
WTF is all I can say, he says, oh don’t be frightened its just…whatever its name is that I did not bother to remember. He proceeds to take the bird out of its cage, now I am worried, what is this thing pecks out my eyes or bites me.
I calmly walk backwards and say well now you have a lot going on here. When I do take a look around this living room is seems to have a fine dust all over everything, the tables, the floor, everything and those tufted leather sofas that I cannot stand and yup it looks like a dorm room, no thanks.
I make an exit and say I will text you later have a good rest of your day.
So I decided to look up why anyone would want a parrot. The first article I come across is from a man who owned many parrots in his life and he says 10 ten reasons why you should not get a parrot.
Dirty, messy, they prune themselves all the time emitting a fine dust, not a pet for those that are ocd clean, yup, I am out.
They also imprint on one human as their mate, and that would have been him and the parrot can get aggressive to others, yup, not for me, not vying for a mans attention with a bird who can peck my eyes out.
Parrots also go through puberty as a teenager, (this one was 3 yrs old) they get aggressive for 4 to 5 years, so I would have had that to look forward to, such fun.
Oh and that beak keeps growing and it likes to gnaw on furniture or anything else.
Lastly these birds live forever, like 60 to 80 years….jeez, no thanks even a dog after 15 your out.
After reading all that I sent him a nice text to say no thanks, good luck with all the pets, I think covid has made some so lonely that they do not realize what they are doing by getting a puppy and a baby parrot, and he is currently on crutches, that is too much for me because I saw that I would be cleaning up this and no thanks not for me.
He responded immediately and totally understood but the bird is there to stay. Oh well, until the next adventure.
I wish him to find his bird lady, for me I have no pets for a reason, I like my very clean apartment, one that does not include any pet.
All I could visualize as I made a hasty exit from his place was Tippi Hedren running from the Birds in the Hitchcock film by the same name….hahahah