I was asked recently by an ex co worker (he and I worked together many years ago) why I don’t date anymore. What I want you to understand is the context in which he came to ask the question. He and I are not friends and I have not heard from him in years (it has been more than a decade since we last worked together and more than 5 yrs since I have seen him). Out of the blue he messages me on FB ( only reason I have a FB account is because I do use it for Marketplace). So I see his message and no word of a doubt this is the Message. Hey Nancy I have a favour to ask you. No Hey How are you, how have you been keeping yourself, just Hey I have a favour to ask you. I saw it a day after he sent it and said Ok, what is up. He wanted to ask me on a date, seriously men this is how you ask women out. I had no interest in this person romantically, at all, and said this. Larry, I don’t date, I have no interest in dating and well we were nothing more than co workers and not even really friends but I can go as your friend.
I ended up getting a bad head cold and had to cancel and apologized and did let him know a couple days before hand and thought that would be the end of the conversation. Nope it was not. It was then he had to do what some of you men do, press the issue, keep in mind I already let him know I was not interested in him romantically. He told me how beautiful I am and that he would very much like to ask me out again, hmmm what part of I don’t date do you not understand.
This is why women have evolved as it relates to dating and men have not.
I have written on this topic before as it relates to the evolution of women, dating and where men are clearly confused. The entrance of women into the workforce changed womens ideals and ideas of what they wanted. They saw a world outside being a wife and a mother and wanted more than that. Men for so long dominated the workforce that it also forced men to see women differently and in many cases men did not like it and even today some men would rather women be the wife and mother still. I feel men then and in some cases now are at a loss when it comes to wooing and dating women. In many cases women don’t need a man. Women earn their own money, pay their own bills and can have a baby without a man and men are navigating where do they fit in.
Allow me to help you men along the way. Women still want to be wooed and we want to be treated fairly, equally and not to be thought of as just a physical aspect. This is the reason why many women of all ages have given up on dating men altogether because many men have not evolved. Don’t get me wrong there are still some great guys out there but there are many more that still think of women as nothing more than a sexual object. If you don’t believe me ask any women who has tried online dating and believe you me she will have some horror stories of inappropriate behaviour.
Dating Apps have all but ruined any chances of any real connections or relationships. What is a good girl to do today, men don’t ask out women in real life anymore and online men are seeking one thing and its not a relationship. Shocked by this, don’t be, it is the truth. I tried online dating for a few years and gave up about 3 yrs ago because for every nice guy, there are about 100 that are not. These men will invest nothing and say anything, perhaps for shock value, well we are not impressed. I actually fee sorry for the younger generation of women dating if they seek a relationship because it is getting harder to find that guy.
Also women are getting harassed more and more through different mediums and all I can say is stop it. Stop approaching women on Linkedin to ask them out. Do you really think that a woman you have never met is impressed you are harassing her on Linkedin.
To sum up, these are my view, I would like to see a more kinder 2023, I would like to see the gap between men and women close. I would like to see more men be supportive of what is happening to women and be our advocate, especially if you are raising the next generation of women. With what is happening in the world today I feel together we can make it better, men and women, side by side and on the same side, you will never know the difference you can make in a young womans life to be her advocate, her mentor. Thank you all Happy 2023