I came across an article the other day, it said why online dating after 50 does not work. I laughed, actually I snorted out loud and said now there has never been a more truer statement then that right there. Then I thought about it, ironically if people were true with themselves and others then online dating could work but there is the fly in ointment. Got me thinking many things with respects to dating and online and how this crisis has now made us even more lonely as we search for that impossible perfect person. I will come back to this but first let me tell you a story.
I had just finished my run and I had to go pick up a couple bar stools that I bought of Kijji and did not have time to shower and change, oh well I thought. He did not live far away so I wanted to get them loaded into my car and get home to shower. I was having a bugger of a time getting them into my car and the young man was helping. Young man being the operative word, as he could not have been more than 30. We managed with some difficulty to get them into my small hatchback and I thanked him and drove home.
Not more than 5 mins after arriving home I get a text from lets call him Chris saying Hey, I saw that you have a tennis racquet in your car, we should go play sometime. I thought nothing of it and said sure lol. Took my much needed shower and saw another text from him saying, well it does not have to be tennis, I would like to get to know you so we could have a drink or dinner. What...I mean what, was he asking me out.
I said while I am flattered, I do not date men your age, sorry but what are you 35, he answers back 30 actually. He then says you must not be more than 40. I laughed and said yeah no, I am over 50 and thanks but not thanks. It was then he said well I am still interested, hmmmmm, well I am not.. not in the least. It was at this point that I know some of you will say why not. Well many reasons actually, when a man is closer to my daughters age than I, that is just creepy. I know there are many men out there if the roles were reversed and they were being hit on at 50 by a woman 30, and if she were quite attractive like Chris was they would have gone out with her, however I just cannot. What I found amusing is that he thought I should be interested, like it was an insult that I was not. Just because I am 50....does not mean I am desperate, not in the least.
I have said many times in the past I do not date outside my age bracket because what can you possibly have in common with someone who is more than 20 yrs your junior. So yes I turned Chris down, but I did say I have a gf who is 40 who may be interested. I said send me a couple photos and please no penis photos....I cannot believe I actually have to say that to begin with.
Instead he sends me a photo with him holding a giant zucchini while wearing what appears to be a Newfie Dinner Jacket. And now we are done. On behalf of all the women out there, Men do you really think women will be impressed by that, grow up. Well he is 30, but I remember 30 and there are those at 30 still acting like they are still 16 and others who are quite mature.
Which brings me back to why after 50, Online dating does not work and possibly dating in general. My girlfriend is now dating a guy she met online but there are so many obstacles ( distance, he has a young child, and he works all the time) I just do not hold out much hope for her on this one.
People say dating and relationships have just gotten harder, nah I disagree I think most people have just gotten more phony and that is the reason why online dating does not work.
I am or should I say I was ( I am not online and have not been so in awhile) Honest, very few people are honest.
Most lie about their age, or how in shape they are or they use those filters which makes them look like a cross between a mannequin and a drag queen. Why would anyone want to look like that,,,,yuck.
I am over 50 and you betcha I have wrinkles. My Linkedin photo is a month old, that is what I look like, no make up or filters.
I also think in the age we are living in, well most people are downright lazy, too lazy to put in any type of effort when it comes to dating, yes men I am calling you out on this.....again. So lazy in fact that as women we are impressed if a man shows up on time, which is sad. Let me say this to all the men out there if you dress up nicely, act like a gentleman ( read previous articles) and open car doors, that in itself is nice.
Also women.....stop sleeping with men on the first date, sex seems to be commoditized, yup I am saying it. You can think you are being modern...blah blah blah. You are not. I have said it before if sex is so easy for men and apparently it is well then they will not behave better. I read somewhere that some men will swipe on all women and could care less and if there is a match only then will he look at the photo....jeez....this is why women....get off line...if there are no women to swipe on then men will have to ask you out in real life and put in an effort. So Ladies...all Ladies...get off line.
Many of you who have read my dating disasters will know why I gave up online dating and why you should too. Unfortunately Covid has increased people dating online, that is too bad because just before this the online dating world was beginning to tank, people were tired of the phonies. I encourage anyone out there dating to get off line.
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For me, well I am seeing someone, He and I met many years ago (not online). The first time we met it was not the right time, 5 years later we shall see. We both are over 50 and I feel our expectations are realistic unlike online dating.