I was having dinner last night with my gf K and she asked me Hey Nancy….are you dating…cue the eye roll….and I do mean the eye roll. I may have mentioned on more than one occasion that I would rather poke myself in the eye with a red hot poker then go on another bad date, in fact it has been well over a year since I have actually been on a date. There are so many reasons that I do not date…but first…Let me tell you a story.
I begrudgingly agreed to feed and give water to my next door neighbors cat this past weekend. In case you have not read about the story where I say….throw a dead cat into a dumpster….that story is on the blog…it was about my daughter whos cat died and my ex called me in a panic saying what do I tell Olivia that her cat died…I said…umm…lie…say the cat ran away and meanwhile toss the carcass into the dumpster…that is how much I like cats.
So I agreed to go and give food and water to said cat. Why would anyone want a cat…they stink…the box..with the cleaning….I hate the smell of cat food, not to mention that the sometimes will shit on the floor in retaliation, or puke, then there is the hair…..sorry…just gross. Why am I mentioning this. Well when I walk into her apartment I was shocked, not just because of the above mentioned but because the place is a mess. I am super clean, probably super anal clean and this place grossed me out. Dirty dishes in the sink, the floor could have used a sweep and a mop, cat hair on the sofa, and dust on just about every service. I know to some people it may have been fine, not to me.
I thought about this and here goes no punches, why do young women do this, meaning they do so much for their perceived boyfriend that they ignore their own needs. What am I referring to. Let me explain. This young lady jumps to go over to her boyfriends place to cook and clean for him and leaves her own place in a mess. She is a lovely young lady, stays in shape, smart, articulate and quite attractive so it boggles my mind why she wastes her time with this perceived boyfriend. Why do I say perceived, well let me tell you. He asked her and has done so many times, hey can you come over and cook dinner, oh and you will have to pick up groceries as well…here is the kicker, she is unemployed and he is an Engineer making a very good salary.
If I were here mother I would be appalled at her behaviour. They have been dating for 4 years, do not live together and he treats her like a maid first, a cook second and well easy sex third. She runs right over whenever he calls and helps him to pack for his weekend with the boys, meanwhile she spends most weekends alone. This is why I have zero interest in this type of man who has three uses for her, to cook for him, to clean for him or to have sex with him. Yeah no.
So when K asked me about dating I said why would I want to date any man who basically treats women like this. She said not all men are like this…I said you are correct, we teach men how to treat us and I for one will not allow any man to treat me like a maid..a cook or a whore so no than you.
Ladies until you stop what you are doing you will never get a man to respect you, I may be alone but I sure as hell will not be running over to cook and clean for a man. I have my own apartment, which BTW is beautiful and is super clean, oh did I mention that when she asked her Engineer boyfriend the help her install some light fixtures in her place….he refused saying electrical is not his thing, so she asked me….I said sorry I am not your boyfriend and I will show you how to do it but I will not do it for you. You need to dump this loser. I installed all my own lights, I do not need a man for that, thank you very much.
I want you to know I do not hate men, but I hate men who take advantage of a nice girl and she is being taken advantage of.
My grandmother intilled a sense a pride in me and I may be alone but I will not let some man treat me like this.
K said she is happy with her FWB scenario, and I really wonder if she is. I said K, please stop brining this up, it is not for me, nor will it ever be me, I hold myself to a higher standard and FWB is nothing more than a prostitute situation without payment. Men love Tinder because if he swipes on enough women…one will have sex with him, its disgusting. Ladies if you want men to change their behaviour then start with changing your own, and do not think by having sex with a man in hopes that a relationship will materialize…..it will not. I wonder if prostitution is actually on the decline because there are enough women who will have sex in this scenario….interesting.
So I said to my gf K, if there is a man worthy of me then yes, absolutely I would love to go on a date, but I am no ones door mat and until that happens I am perfectly content to be alone and no I will not be getting a cat….lol. If there is a man brave enough to ask me out…well…let me know…but do not ask me to clean your apartment