I was having my birthday dinner with my very good girlfriend K last week when we started talking about the men we just started dating. In case you missed my last article I decided to take a different approach to online dating and I went on a date with a Parisian Chef. My approach was to have these men aske me 3 questions after I answered said questions they could either ask me out on a real date or delete me because after that question period was over and I am not here to text or Message.
The Chef...we met at a very upscale downtown hotel lobby bar....back to that in a moment. What this article is about is this....do we as women shun the nice guy...is it so foreign to us that we are shocked when we see it. Also I decided to actually google the line Is it wrong to Date the nice guy.. why are we so afraid?
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K and I were having dinner and Prosecco and were discussing this very topic while watching and old episode of Sex in the City and ironically we were watching that very episode...why do women shun the nice guy?
My own personal feeling on this....and ladies don't hate me for what I am about to say....I think the reason why so many women shun the nice guy is in some way we are emotional unavailable or we aren't ready for a relationship....while I was writing this article I realized I misspelled relationships and I spelled it realationships. I feel that is in some way funny because that is what I am talking about that a Real Relationship is based on Real or Reality and that is what some men and women are lacking in this day and age. They are afraid to get Real....with themselves or the person they are dating.
I too fell into this category once...meaning I was not ready or I was afraid of what a Real relationship is...why...because it means letting go...and allowing yourself to be Real...with yourself and others.
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So when K asked me about the Chef I said it is so refreshing for me to go out on a date with a man who actually plans something...have our expectations been lowered so much that all it takes is for a man to say yes...yes I will ask you out...yes I will book something and before the date is even over he is making plans with you for another date. Some of you may think this is wow...moving fast...No I do not think so I think if you are having a great date and all is going well then why wouldn't you say lets get together again and actually make plans...not be evasive and say sure yet never follow up. I knew within an hour of this date I wanted to see this man again....yes....sometimes people are that easy to read that you are excited at the prospect. For the record the Date with the chef was 6 hours....I don't think I ever have been on a 6 hour date...and when I got home to text him that I made it home safely he said until I see you again. He posted to his friends we met online....we met in real life....we will meet again....and he did mean it.
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K's first date also went so well that he too made plans for a second date ( I have yet to hear how her second date went)...mine well...It went so well that we have now been on 4 dates after this past weekend and are making plans to see each other again.
What makes this man different from some others I have dated....Yes he is the Nice Guy...he is the guy that makes plans to see you again...he is not keeping his options open. He is Real with who he is...how he presents himself and is not evasive. I know this would scare some women away because not everyone can deal with this type...I however find it refreshing and when you get to a point when you are ready for a Real relationship this is the man you are looking for.
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I may not know what the future holds but this is a realtionship that for me has started off Real and is based on 2 people that are authentic with themselves and with each other and for me that is rare.
What do I want to say to the single women out there....when you are done with the Narcissists....the Players....the Undecided...Don't just give the Nice Guy a chance...he is deserving far more than just a Chance He is Deserving of a woman that will see him for what he is ....A Great Guy that should not be Shunned.
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