I was having dinner at my place this past weekend with a girl friend and she asked...hey weren't you on a lunch date with the pilot your friend set you up with...hahaha, yes and what an experience that was nearly spilling wine. Before I tell you about my latest bad date let met share with you how it all happened.
It was NYE and I was home alone, btw if you are not happy with your own company then one will not fair well in times when you are alone. I actually am. So here I am about to start Casablanca, sushi and a glass of prosecco when I get a text from TG (guy friend) wishing me a Happy New Year. TG and I dated a few years back for several months but it did not work out because we had not a lot in common but we remained good friends. He now is dating someone who has similar interests...ie camping...fishing...riding motorcycles. Which begs the question in my mind do women really like those things or do they compromise because they know it is what the guy likes to do. Well I will put it out there..I think women make far too many compromises when it comes to dating a guy...I will never pretend I am something I am not just to have a boyfriend....so Casablanca and sushi for me alone. So I get this text from TG, who is a nice guy and yes, in case any of you are wondering it was I who called it off which is probably why we did remain friends because women (not all) can not be friends with a guy if the guy ends it. The text reads hey can I give you a call. So we talk for a few minutes...TG also is building a house with this new woman he is dating...they have been dating for 18 months and are building a house together...yikes I thought....what if you break up mid build...then what...oh well...not my circus not my monkeys. TG asked me if I would be interested in a set up....Hmmmm...cue the Groan.
I have recently said I am not doing online dating anymore because it is geared for hookups rather than relationships so sure I guess I would be interested in a date set up by a friend, why the hell not.
Now I thought TG knew me, meaning the reason why we did not continue to date is because I am much more of a city girl then a back woods girl. What I would like you all to know, I am no princess, I actually dislike the use of that word. I grew up very poor with very little comforts. I have also back country packed, hike and camp and have slept on the ground. However I have very little interest in those things now. I like the ballet ( I have tickets for this upcoming performance). I like to get dressed up. I will see if I can attach the beautiful vintage dress I have to wear to the ballet. I like history wine, I also like and keep myself in shape. So when TG said he is a pilot, he has great energy and he also keeps himself in shape, I was actually a little excited to go on the date.
He chose a sushi place for lunch at a mutually close location and he chose lunch instead of drinks in the evening as he mentioned he had been under the weather and he is in need of some ZZZs early. I thought no more of it. Lunch can be one of those tricky things however it was sushi so if that date is not going well....well you can get out pretty fast.
So even though this is a casual date I always feel one should put their best foot forward always, just who I am. So I was wearing a cozy form fitting black cashmere sweater and slim fitting khaki green velvet pants with ankle boot....casual yet polished.
What shows up, well to me, could you put some effort in like maybe not wear the shirt that was so wrinkled that he looked like he slept in it (not kidding) it was that wrinkled. I have been told by a few friends that I sometimes can be harsh so I have vowed to work on that and said he may be a great guy. Then he takes off his jacket and I am not sure when TG last saw the pilot but he clearly has not been hitting the gym in a long time. He was not in shape at all...sorry huge gut. Now I do not judge on hair or lack there off, nothing one can do about that, but you could have a well ironed shirt and be in shape.
Even then I banish the thoughts that I do not find this guy attractive and try to focus on his personality....
It was not more than 5 minutes into the date that he starts talking about the reason he has not been feeling well is that he had a really bad flare up of his IBS.....now I am looking for hidden cameras...is someone out there filming my bad dates. I try to listen empathetically and it was then that the demon on my shoulder is saying you have got to be kidding me. I visualize the demon rolling over laughing his ass off, saying ok, wtf, He is overweight, not in shape, 57, bald and now he is talking about bleeding from his anus, because he thought that would be a great ice breaker....Get out now.
I look over at the angel for some much needed back up to this situation and the angel stands there for a second and then says, yeah I got nothing, Im actually in agreement with that guy. It was that remark that made the demon roar even louder and me thinking why they hell am I here on this date.
I did try to look past all this and despite what you men think women are not as shallow as you may think. I focused on his personality and would have gone out with him again....alas he sends me a text to say yeah I don't think we would be a good fit..which made me roar with laughter just as the demon was. Here I would have given this guy another shot....guess he is not interested in attractive, intelligent in shape well dressed women. So he has a type as well and its not me.
So what did this teach me, don't compromise, he was not even close to what I was looking for and clearly neither was I, and to my friend TG who set me up, hey we are still friends but I will tell him he probably needs glasses...lol
​