I was having a conversation with my good friend William the other day and I said I think I may just be done with dating and relationships for good. He said Oh...I am sorry to hear that why? Why Indeed...before I proceed to tell you why I have come to this conclusion lets examine the differences between how both men and women date. Keep in mind that I am speaking from my own experiences and what I have observed and what others have shared with me, these are my opinions but I feel it is a very good representation of people as a whole.
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I think we all go in to the dating arena with the best intentions...what I mean by that, is whatever your reason is for dating... for a relationship..companionship or for just sex...we all would like a positive outcome. Now the reasons ...that is where it may get confusing between the two sexes. I think we all would get a long a whole lot better if we all were honest with each other with respects to our intentions. I have found out most people are just not honest about their intentions. Many of you have read about my dating successes and failures, I have had far more failures then successes and the reason for that is the lack of honesty from men. I would much rather have someone say hey Nancy you are a great gal but you are not for me then someone lie to me. Lucky for me I can usually detect someone who is only interested in dating me for casual sex within the first couple dates and I say Bye...not interested.
I know why these men do this...meaning on their profile say they are interested in a relationship and yet their actions say otherwise. They know that if they say they are looking for something casual they would get zero dates...yet if a woman were to put that on her profile she would have a line up around the block of men wanting to date her. Before you start to crucify me...yes I am generalizing in a way but it is true. I believe we are entering an era where Relationships are Dying.
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Can it be true are we actually seeing before us Death to Relationships and Monogamy...yes I think we are, I really am beginning to believe it. I see it all around me. For example I saw in the news some B rate Canadian Actor announced to his wife of 4 years (yup only 4 years and in year 2, he wants an open marriage.) He told her he could cheat on her or she could be open to another person coming into the marriage. I would have said get moving on because yeah not interested. Instead she said she would....to save the marriage...honey I think that ship has sailed and you have to accept the fact your husband is just a cheating dog. This actually happened to a person I know personally. This guy friend of mine he came home from work and his wife announced the same thing to him...he put thought to it for awhile and instead they now are divorced...Good man...like wft...was he supossed to say yeah I am ok for you to go off and sleep with other men...jeez.
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I have heard men are confused about relationships and where they fit in....If I can clear things up for you men please let me do so. First off what do women want. Here it is Guys...what we want is this. We want a man who will put in some effort...is that so much to ask. I have said it before so few men put in so little effort.
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If I can put out a contest to the first single man in my age group that would put in an effort to Date me...well that would be refreshing. The Parisisan chef did....and then he said he was going on vacation with and ex...lol...yeah no thanks.
Women want to date a man who will make plans in advance not some last minute thing, we like decisive men, make reservations...show up on time and don't constantly talk about your ex or work. I know you have other interests than that. This goes both ways ladies if reservations are for 7 show up on time...don't bash men.
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Women also want a man who does not sex text them 5 minutes after conversation....I mean seriously you have not even met this woman yet and you are making sexual inuendos...jeez save that talk for much...much later. I know personally for me if a man starts with sexual inuendos before we have even met...Im out...not interested in even meeting you because it means he really has zero interest in who you are as a person...so Ladies listen up.
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Even after you have been on a date and it went well...I still am not interested in sex texting. It should be saved for much later....In my opinion I have zero interest in sex texting with a man even if I am interested in him. If that is the only way you know how to communicate....again Ladies move on....he does not see you for anything more than someone he wants to have sex with and guys hear this. Women like and want sex as well, BUT and this is a big BUT, we want to be looked upon as a person. Recently I went on one date with a guy and he was nice and hello we only just met...the next day we texted a bit and he sends me a photo of an omelet he made and the caption read maybe I can make this for you one day....I said hmmm yeah not anytime soon and tried to get him to change the subject....instead nope he said well its better than a cab ride home...It was at this point that I said listen I am really not interested in this conversation. Then he proceeds I am just joking....Yeah I don't think so...how about listen to what we are saying in the first place...we just met... so Men...listen up. Stop this line of texting....we really are not impressed....its off putting.
I also have little time for those that text about nothing....let me give you an example...you text with someone for a little bit...you meet have a fun date but he does not ask you out again but texts you tell you about his day or what he is doing. I know women do this too so again equal opportunity. If a person does this and yet does not ask you out again....move on...I am not here to be your pen pal. I am not being harsh....if a man is interested he will ask you out again...if a woman is interested she will accept your next date. Yes Men you have to do the asking...I have said it before women you are wasting your time asking men out. Men if you are interested...ask her out. It really is that simple. We want to see men put in an effort and if they don't well I for one will not be asking...men are hunters and need to do the asking.
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So back to me and Dating...I would like to see a man put in an effort to want to date me but with the death of relationships all around me and I don't do casual well....Dating may be at a close for awhile because until there is a guy who will actually put in some effort I have no desire to sex text or be your therapist.
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I know it is hard for Guys too...but really the ball is in your court guys....ask a girl out...put in some effort....and be honest about your intentions....you will find out that really is what women want.
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