I was flipping through the channels the other night and it has come to my attention that Hallmark has its own channel...I actually thought...you have got to be kidding me...when I saw the line up of the movies I think I may have vomited a little bit in my mouth. What I want you all to know...I am not some women who does not believe in Romance in fact this world could use a little more romance. However Ladies you need to separate real romance and what Hellmark puts out...This channel is giving women unrealistic expectations of what and who Real men are. I will tell you first a little bit of what my expectations are and you as in the audience....feel free men and women to weigh in if my expectations are unrealistic....I hope you do.
So most of you know I have been dating over the last few years and I have met some nice guys and well some not so nice guys. I have had well meaning friends over the years say perhaps my expectations are high. I have thought about that as well and I do not think so....not at all.
My expectations for dating is I do expect to be treated with respect and I will not sex text with any man..it seems within minutes of texting with a man he turns it to a sexual nature....and my response is usually the same....sorry I have not met you yet and I do not sex text a man whom I don't even know your last name, this in most cases ends the conversation because I do not think this type of man is even interested in dating a woman....his only reason in being Online is for a hookup, so maybe write that in your profile.
I also am the type of woman who has no desire to text incessantly with a man before meeting, the whole idea of dating ….is to meet in person, so book a date and I will show up. I say a date because I do not do coffee dates or drinks...I am an adult so that means a real date....If a man will not book a real date...keep looking ladies...he is not interested in a relationship if he cannot invest in an actual date.
I have had mix reviews from friends and men on this. They ask my reason for insisting on a real date over drinks. I have a really good reason...and I mentioned it above...if a man will not invest time in a real date then he is what I will say kicking tires....and I don't have time for that.
So my expectations are this. A man who is respectful, kind, and truly is looking to invest time in a real date. After the initial date then some of my other expectations are this. If you are interested in seeing me again say so...and if not...say that as well. I am always up front and honest to any man I go out with and if that frightens him away so be it..then as the saying goes....He was not into me and that is really ok. My other expectations are ...Do not think I owe you anything because you take me to dinner as in I will not be sleeping with you...if that is your expectation as a man...hire a prostitute ….I actually mean that...and Ladies do not allow your self to be pressured by any man. Yes guys ...this still happens. Now I have been on dates with nice gentlemen who were just that gentlemen but we did not share enough in interests for us to be a couple so the search continues.
Some say I seek what I may not find....I am not so sure...I think it is out there and I have met the man I do seek on many occasions with one cavet….he was not ready for a relationship and alas I was....here is where both men and women listen up. If a man ticks off every box on your list but the most important one....which is he is not looking for a relationship.....Run....I mean that....do not invest anymore time in this man. I have heard this so....so.... many times from girlfriends...if I am just patient he will come around...nope he wont.... he was honest...just leave. Maybe one day you will meet again and the timing will be right....I doubt it but just leave. This type of man will indeed waste your time and probably sleep with you and he will fallback on the line, I told you I am not looking for a relationship. Hey he was honest so don't blame him.
So my expectations are men who are honest....real...have mutual interests as I, respectful and are in shape as am I , non smoker and in my age group....not into dating those in the cradle or the grave.
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Back to the Hellmark Channel where everyone is beautiful including all the old people dispensing advice to the 2 crossed would be lovers. The formulaic of these astounds me. First off its always some attractive young woman who nearly always passes on her future professional dreams to take a chance on a man with whom she met just days prior with very little back story on the man, but he is always tall, handsome, good with his hands and respectful and kind. He sometimes is a widower with a small child and she is engaged or about to be engaged to some workaholic guy in the city.
What bothers me about these stories is this. They are the modern take on the fairytales that men are in 2 categories....they are either not kind or respectful or they are...no shades of grey....Not that any woman would be interested in deeply disturbed and controlling Christian Grey....that is for another article...ummmmmm….Stalker with Money.
Women need to realize and I hope they do men are complicated just like we are. I totally understand if a man is not ready for a relationship, but, say so...be upfront that...that is not what you are looking for...and ladies dont get upset because he tells you the truth. Let me say this...life is leaps and bounds far more complicated than a Hallmark movie...no man who has just met a girl and has not even kissed her yet is going to propose to her.....this is 2020 not 1820. Even then he would have at least kissed her. It is ridiculous that any woman would buy into this tripe.....yes I am calling it tripe.
Relationships that have a chance at lasting are not based on a physical spark. It is a good start but its not reality, common interests, goals. I am in shape and it is important to me that a man I am to be with also takes care of himself that he does not smoke, including pot. That we share a passion for other things as well.
Romance is not dead, I know there are guys out there who love romancing a lady, plans a nice evening, and if any of you have some romantic stories, feel free to share them with me. I am not Bah Humbug about the season, however it is getting harder to recognize real romance not something that comes of Hellmark.
Have a great day and Christmas everyone
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