You don’t know what you are saying. No Paul she says exasperated and tired, I do know, and this is not what I want. I want to feel, I want to be in love, I want to be gaga about someone and I know this, I do not feel any of that with you. I tried to pretend it didn’t matter, I tried to weigh all the other things against it, and I realized its not fair to you, you deserve to be with a woman who loves you, who is all in. Paul stands there with hands in his pockets, do you need more time, I can wait. She feels even worse at how amazing this man is and she could see his pained expression and her heart is breaking, not because she loves him but because he loves her. She never wanted to ever cause him pain, she just thought if she gave it more time she would fall in love with him, its now been months and she loves his spirit his energy and their shared love of great pieces of literature but that is not enough to build the future on, not nearly enough.
She needed air and space, I need to go Paul, I am late for an appointment, there was no appointment she just needed to be anywhere then in this quaint coffee shop they used to come and discuss Dorian Grey, was it only just 3 months ago they met in that musty old book shop and grabbed for the same book. She realized it had only just been 3 months and here she was ending what at first seemed like a relationship that held such promise.
Hey Emily isn’t your mourning period just about over…haha said Emily you are so droll as she takes a sip of the Cabernet that her good friend Kristy brought over…mmm this is good by the way. Love the Name as well Bread and Butter…that was one of their shared interests Emilys cooking and Kristys great taste in wine. Stop stalling said Kristy and tell me. Its not a mourning period said Emily but with a daughter who is about to turn 12 and work and all the other stuff going on in her life she makes a point to not date between Remembrance day, right up to Valentines Day. I have a very good reason to not date during those 3 months.
Oh yeah Kristy says with a glint in her eye as she slices up Emilys amazing home made pizza. OMG, your pizza could rival just about any pizza out there. If its not a mourning period then why don’t you date during those months.
Awww well hmm…it about desperation…many desperate people that date around the holidays and I want no part of it. Kristy laughs and says well, in case you haven’t noticed today is Feb 15, so I hope you are going to get back on that horse and get movin.
Emily thought about it for a minute and groaned, yes I know and I will but I am beginning to wonder if any of it is even worth it. Emily looked at her friend and said do you remember the day we met, haha said Kristy, of course, it will be 5 years coming up in a couple months, why do ask.
What you don’t know Kristy is that day was one of the hardest days of my life. What, I know you were a little upset that day, I thought it was because your marriage ended and now you are getting divorced and are looking for a new place. No I was not upset about the end of my marriage it was about a man who I wish now I never met.
Wait a minute how is it I have never heard of this man. Well it was a long time ago, it lasted only a few months and to be honest I am a little ashamed of the person I was then. Well sit down, let me pour you another glass of this excellent wine and I want to hear all about this Man.