They say the only thing that is constant is change, I think we all have a love/hate relationship with change, well at least I do, I should have been in the military I am so regimented. I was watching the Movie When Harry Met Sally and realized wow, that movie is now over 30 yrs old, life has changed a lot for probably most of us in those 30 years. My favorite parts of that movie is not so much the movie itself but the interviews with the old couples on how they met.
They are both humorous and endearing. It got me thinking about my own life and where I am now, no this is not a pity party. I am unemployed, divorced and in splendid isolation, although some days not so splendid…LOL. I know many people see me as this very outgoing, athletic, determined woman, and I am all those things but watching that movie again after a few years its like re reading a book at a different stage of your life and getting an entirely new perspective on it.
The movie may only be 30 years old but its pretty old fashion in how women are depicted. What do I mean by that, well for me I did not like the scene where Sally and her gf’s are sitting around lamenting the fact that none of them now in their 30s are married. They talk about marriage like it’s a woman’s only purpose in life. I for one mentioned on more than one occasion that I have no desire to ever walk down any aisle again and I have heard the gasps, but really why does marriage have to define a person anyway. At this stage of my life it is truly unnecessary, so will any man want to date me. Perhaps, and if not that is ok as well. We as in all of us get to define our own idea of what a relationship is, and I obviously have an opinion on that...lol.
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I am teaching my daughter that it really is unnecessary to ever get married, she rolls her eyes, (she is nearly 13). I actually am serious, and said to her sweetheart I love you, and to be clear, way more than half of marriages end anyway and you may end up alone again so focus on you and what you want not what someone else wants for you, and that includes me. That may shock some and upset others but I have always been an independent thinker and we need to encourage independent thought, especially in these times.
I know I try very hard not to be a romantic at all, but deep down I would like the guy to ride the elevator up 9 extra floors just so he could talk to me. I was trying very hard to think if any man has ever made any romantic gestures where I am concerned, and I actually hurt my brain trying to recall any, there have been very few, and I was with the same man for 23 years. In contrast I took my ex to Paris, Spain, and Palm Springs, strange what you remember. The world has changed, men have changed and not for the better.
If you have read about my death of a friendship with William, he is part of the perspectives. When I told my gf K what happened she actually thought he was going to confess some undying love for me, which made me laugh. In real life men like William do not make romantic gestures like at the end of a movie. In real life you go your separate ways and that is that, no fan fair, nothing. You may wish the person well (which I did) I always leave on a polite note, I think that is important. Is chivalry dead, that I can assure you it is not. Let me tell you something real quick on this note.
I was rushing out the door to pick Olivia up from school when I noticed one of my tires was in need of air, shoot I thought, I will get it repaired tomorrow but now it needs air. I live right next door to a Petro Can and to my surprise, you have to pay for air…sorry but wtf. I was unsure how to use the contraption and asked this very handsome stranger wiping down his Audi after the car wash. Not only did he come over to help he showed me how to use it, filled up my tire so I was on my way. He said goodbye and said anytime. If you are single, give me a shout…lol.
That small kind gesture made me happy, in a world right now that is filled with so much sadness, and despair, and with domestic abuse on the rise, I have stopped watching the news as I feel it is not good for any ones mental wellness these days. I believe we will see kinder, better days, and maybe there will be the guy who does take the elevator the extra floors just so he can keep talking to me. Be true to yourself.