This article is not about my dating life, I know I have written a lot about it...sometimes with humor, sometimes with seriousness, but always with honesty and courage. This is indeed a true story, and one that I hope will move you, move you to a point that it will make you think about how you, no matter how small a gesture could make an enormous difference in someones life.
This story is about a good friend who I worked with for many years at the same company, many years ago. For the purpose of the story I will call him Phil.
Phil and I met years ago when I started at this company, he was a project manager and a very good one. We met for the first time just a couple weeks into my sales role and we were just shooting the shit when he asked where I grew up, I said, hahah...small town in NB, you would never have heard of it, he laughed and said try me. So when I said Sackville NB, he laughed even harder because he lived in my town for a few years,,, that made me laugh. I have never met someone from my small home town. Phil was the kind of guy who would give someone the shirt off his back (maritimer), he really was a great guy. Even under stressful times, Phil always got the job done and always had a smile on his face. I really enjoyed working with him, he was a real professional and an all around great guy. Phil was married to a beautiful wife and they had a teenage son. From the outside you would think Phil had the perfect life. I think he did....for awhile.
One day Phil came to work and he was not smiling and he was quite distracted and upset. I asked him if he had a few minutes to talk. Phils wife announced that she wanted a divorce. I know everyone says, I never saw it coming. There are signs some just choose to ignore them. Regardless of the situation I said lets you and I and Barry go get lunch ( another coworker who was good friends with both Phil and I). Phil said sure. I told Barry that Phil is going to need our support over the next little bit, Barry agreed as he himself had been where Phil is.
I enouraged Phil to call Barry and I anytime you just want to talk. He did for a little bit, but then things about Phil started to change dramatically.
He shaved his head, got a tatoo and started dating much younger women. Phil was just turning 50 so yes I believe this pushed him into having a mid life crisis.
What came next was not good. The company we worked for should have given him a leave of absence for a month or two so he could get his head on straight instead they fired him. He was messing up at work, but compassion is what Phil needed at this point in his life not this. Phils life literally blew up in front of him in just a matter of months. He spent most of his money on these younger women and when the money ran out they were gone too.
Barry and I on numerous occasions tried to get Phil out and about but he sank into depression and now he was living in Barrys basement suite. Barry was such a great friend to take Phil in when he had no place to go.
One night Barry had tickets to a hockey gam and invited Phil to go with him, Phil declined, Barry went with another friend, he got home late and went straight to bed.
The next morning Barry got up, made coffee and thought it odd that Phil was not up at 10 am on a saturday morning so he went to check on him. Knocked on his door, when he opened the door he knew Phil was dead, Phil took sleeping pills and went to bed.
Barry was devastated as was I when Barry called me after he called the police of course.
Every Family day weekend since that tragedy (as it happened on Family day weekend). I think of Phil, this happened nearly a decade ago but I will never forget it and neither will Barry, I am saddened at the loss of our friend and I am also saddened for my friend Barry having witnessed what he did. So what do I want to say to everyone out there man or woman. Could I have done more....maybe...but here is what I am proposing to everyone out there....Please share this story to everyone, I mean that, I would very much like to see this story get read by 10s of thousands. What else can you do. If you or anyone you know can help an unemployed friend or person out there by recommending them for a job they are very qualified for then do that. I mean that, there are a lot of unemployed people out there in our great city, I myself am looking for senior sales roles or I would be interested in a job where I can use my sales talents to help fund for a great cause, also my very good and talented friend William is looking for a job, he is very well educated....take a look at his profile William Marquis. I also met a nice guy Oliver who was with Halliburton for over 20 years and is now unemployed. If any of you have ever been unemployed, its stressful and demoralizing. I want to see Calgary great again, there are a lot of unemployed great talent out there, if you can help then do so, you never know the difference you can make from a recommendation.
I still think of what more I could have done for Phil, compassion is needed in these trying times and a helping hand....people want to work, but don't beat them when they are down. Please share this story to prevent this type of scenario from happening again. Thanks everyone
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