Like many of you last Sunday I was watching the Superbowl, I had just returned home. (My Daughter had a soccer game right at kick off, so I was home just at the end of the second half). With only minutes before the superbowl halftime show, which IMO, is never something I ever tune in for. I watch the superbowl for the game not the halftime show. However since I was preparing dinner for Ollie and I, I left the TV on. What came next, I was like WTF. I mean really, wow, now before any of you out there start rolling your eyes at me that I am some uptight prude, let me explain.
I do not dress crazy conservative nor am I religious, but I do think we are living in an overtly sexual world where it is literally in our face like J Los ass was in that demonstration.
Let me state my position then you can comment either way or this can be your discussion around the water cooler way.
I have stated before Me Too is not just a woman's issue, I know a few men who have had unwanted attention by women, however in most cases a mans life is not in physical danger like that of a woman and again before any of you lash out, men are in most cases physically stronger than most women. Now, a women could and can destroy a mans reputation in both cases, if she chooses to lie or puts that man in a postion where he has no choice. I have been witness to women abusing their power over men to get what they want, but this does not garnish the same attention when a man such as Weinstein or Kobe Bryant rapes women. Yes I do believe Bryant did indeed rape that woman in the Hotel Room in 2003 and then paid her off because it was easier for him to do that. Did that same woman exercise terrible judgement going to his hotel room at midnight...yup, absolutely, but that does not make what happened any less true.
What type of confusing message are we, as women, displaying to our daughters and well men for that matter. As you know I have been attempting to date in this online over sexed world we live in, but it seems any one with any type of value system does not exist when it comes to dating. Let me tell you a story then I will weigh in more on the J Lo and Shakira strip show. I like, many 35 to 50 year old women out there have tried online dating. I say have because I have (as in past tense) given up on the online dating for so many reasons.
The reason I have given up on the whole idea of online dating, well so many reasons, but I will share some of my top reasons. I was reading about another woman's experience and it mirrored mine and probably many others out there. She said it did not matter what she put in her profile, that she was looking for a long term monogamous relationship, her photos were quite conservative, and she did not write anything that would be in any way confusing as in she was not looking for hookups. BUT, just like her as I am sure every other woman out there, it does not matter. Men think (not all men, but a lot) think if you have a profile on an online dating website, you must be open to sleep with relative strangers.
I know Matthew Hussey is somewhere rolling his eyes saying you need to not write that in your profile, and while I like some of his advice, he is a man and really has no idea what women go through on these dates. Sorry Matthew, until many men get some manners, online dating is a waste of time.
I do believe that real relationships are dying because of our oversexed online world. Many women and men as well are staying single longer because they cannot find what they seek in a relationship or their expectations are actually quite ridiculous to begin with. I have seen so many men that are so out of shape yet they think they can get the girl that is so far out of their league. My advice, if you want the fit attractive woman, first look in the mirror...and I mean really look at yourself and say to yourself can I attract a woman like that. Being in shape is very important for me, for many reasons, and I do not want to be with someone who is 30 to 40 pounds overweight. For example my good friend William and I were playing badminton the other day and William, even though he is in good shape, his cardio was not, hes working on it, lol. Think now if I were to date someone 30 to 40 pounds over weight and his cardio is shit, he is not going to be able to do things that I like to do. Ladies this also holds true to what you seek, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself can I attract that fit attractive man, and do not lie about your weight or post photos from a decade ago.
We all know people lie on their profiles, I am probably one of the few who did not....I posted my actual age (51), accurate photos, ones that were taken weeks ago not years, my profile states my interests, and I am honest, that is where I fall down. Not everyone can handle honesty, and I will call you on it. I asked one guy what is one of the most important attributes in a relationship, he said honesty. Hmm, I said then help me understand why you shaved 7 years off your age, said he was 46, actual age 53. Needless to say, he was no longer interested. I personally think age should be taken off as a factor because then maybe one would look at the person not their age. Just so you know I was asking the question why he lied, I could have cared less either way of his age.
Online Dating IS the Biggest reason why Relationships have deteriorated, and it has contributed IMO to our oversexed world. Bumble and Tinder and many others is nothing more than a HOT or NOT HOT disposable way of looking at people.
This in some way contribute to how some men (not all) for being such idiots when dating, and why they think it is ok to push the boundaries on trying to sleep with women on a first date. I also think Ladies you do not do your self any favours.
This goes back to J Lo and Shakira, I know many men enjoyed the half time show, seeing a very fit J Lo at 50 in and outfit which left zero to the imagination pole dancing in front of her 11 yr old daughter. Sure it was for entertainment, but at what cost. These same women talk about equality for women and how women should not be objectified by men....ummm...Newsflash ladies YOU are a part of this ongoing problem, yes, I am calling out women like this. I want you to know I am not a prude, not at all, but it does bother me when they say one thing yet do another, can you not perform based solely on your merit of your voice, perhaps not.
I would suggest to all women out there who is finding dating frustrating, read the Rules of Dating, Know your worth. There will always be women who will put it out there for all to see, some more than others. For the men out there, I want you to know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking at J Lo perform, but do not expect that when you are dating you are going to get a J Lo type if you look like Humpty Dumpty. Yes I agree physical is not the most important attribute, but for me, being in shape is important. I never said he had to be 6 ft 1 with flowing locks, super rich, because those are not important to me. After being in shape, and a non smoker, intelligence is important to me and being able to be honest. So on behalf of many women attempting to date, get off line, talk to women in real life, yes gasp....real life. Thanks all
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