I was having an impromptu dinner with my neighbor a couple nights ago when he asked...Hey isn't your mourning period over...lol. I know he was being facetious but I laughed anyway. I said its not a mourning period its my Blackout period, he says, ok, got it. However help me understand why you have a Blackout period to begin with. Aww sit down and I will tell you. Not sure if I have told you much about my neighbor but he is super cool. This man looks exactly like Tom Selleck (not kidding in the least). He is always well dressed and well groomed, intelligent and is a great cook. So I had just finished my laps at the pool, showered and changed when he sent me a text...would so be up for one of your cocktails. I said ok, give me 10 mins. While sipping cocktails I was telling him about my first date in a few months. BTW I am glad my dating life amuses so many people, and I hope it will not discourage men from going out with me. I am a pretty awesome gal, just have not found a man that really puts in much of an effort. Anyways the reason for the blackout period. If I am not in a serious relationship by Remembrance Day or the latest American Thanksgiving, I delete my profile and refuse any dates during that time, unless it is a friend that has prescreened the guy for me first, (remember Po Po pilot), should have stayed home.
My Reasons for not dating during the holidays and right up until Valentines Day is this. I am first and foremost usually a bit busy during that time ( I have a 12 yr old) but that is not the full reason. The reasons are this, lots of really lonely people that are out there dating during that time and I really do not want to be rejecting someone at that time, I would actually feel bad about it. I can handle rejection but not everyone can. The other reason is I do not want the awkwardness of it all. Lets say you go out on a first date mid Nov, and you like each other (which to me is rare to begin with). Then you see each other a couple more times and now the holidays are upon us and then it becomes awkward, meaning you do not know this person well enough to be inviting him into your life just yet or he has yet to do the same. So to spare feelings I just don't date until after Valentines Day because that day has again too many connotations associated with it. So my neighbor says, ok I totally understand, get it. Then says what happen with the latest dude.
Well, hmmm. lets call him Geoff, I will say this, he at least had the balls to ask me out, so high marks for that because so few men do, they expect women to do all the work. However his suggestion on where to meet I was hmmm, yeah no I am not a teenager and suggested a more grown up Bar for drinks. My suggestion was Muriettas downtown at the bar for a drink, his was Boston Pizza, like really dude.
I arrive always 5 mins early and funny enough run into an old girlfriend I have not seen in nearly 2 decades, Charlene if you are reading this, you look Marvelous Dahling....lol.
I am sitting at the bar when I get a message, I am at the bottom of the stairs, not sure why he just was not coming up the stairs, but that was what I messaged him to do. Jeez.
Now he said he was 5 ft 11, men please stop lying about your height, just stop, we can run the math on how tall you are, and to me I am not super tall so could care less. He was 5 ft 9, so not a big deal but why lie in the first place. He sits down and I immediately can detect he is nervous or he just blinks a lot. Now if any of you know me, I can converse with nearly anyone. Hmmm....this guy, yes perhaps nerves but one answer responses to a question is making me work way too hard. He orders a beer, then insults the bartender ( the bartender at Muriettas, Donald, has been there forever and does an excellent job, so not a good start.) Also I have been a waitress and a bartender...Its a tough job when its super busy.
Geoff said he only had an hour (in my head I was thinking, great, because I doubt this will last that long.) I want you all to know, I put in a serious effort to get to know this guy but after 30 some minutes the demon on my shoulder said yeah you are out, he is not even trying so time to send him on his way. I looked at my watch at 45 minutes and said this. Did you not say you had to be somewhere so its time for you to be off. He miss heard what I said and started giggling like a teenager. I asked him what was so funny, he said well just what you said. Oh what was that, he said you said it was time to get me off. Hmmm...now I am not a bitch, I looked at him and said really, what are you 16 and now its officially time for you to leave.
The moron not only did not apologize for his behavior but actually thought I would go out with him again. He actually asked for my number. I looked Geoff square in the eyes and said Geoff not only will I not be getting you off now, but I wont ever be getting you off. After Geoff left, I ordered a nice cabernet and had the steak tartare, it was really nice, far better then the first 45 minutes of the date. A couple within earshot of my date said, wow what an idiot. Yeah well that is what dating is like in your 50s. This is but one experience in my Dating life....there will be more, but before I end this, I will tell you a quick one about a man obsessed with wolves that he did not even make it to a first date.
I always say if it seems too good to be true, chances are it is just that, its fools gold.
I know we live in the digital age, I actually mean that, I know people like to post photos of themselves on Instagram and FB, etc. We all take selfies, etc. BUT, now here is the but. I am over 50 and I do have a FB and Instagram but rarely post anything, I actually mean that, not many pictures of myself etc. This guy has like a million selfies of himself (narcissistic tendencies perhaps). How do I know this, well his profile is linked to his Instagram. Let me say this if you do not want people to think you are weird or strange maybe not have 15 million selfies, or disable your Instagram from your profile. All these selfies were a little bit of a red flag for me.
He was super attractive, a better looking George Clooney, and that I am not kidding, not in the least. In Shape, great hair, nice smile and asked me out. Of course I was flattered. I chatted a bit with him and then as we did chat, something seemed off.
He had literally hundreds of photos of wolves, and in the photos these wolves were covered in blood and in copulating positions. It was then and just some of the dialogue went into a weird zone.
I tried now to get the conversation on to a normal topic like Frank Sinatra, thoughts.....
I will say this, if you dis Frank Sinatra then I am sorry to say I cannot accept that. If he is not for you, no problem, say so, I will not hold it against you, BUT you do not call him a narcissistic thug, and said he was lacking in confidence...blah, blah.... wow I said.
I think there is someone lacking in confidence however it is not Frank. It was now that his juvenile attitude rose up, He said Whatever....yes ladies and gentlemen that was his response, oh and he felt the need to also insult me with parting words. You are not even that pretty anyway. That is an example of a narcissist, who feels the need to tear someone down, I did not exchange insults but wished him well and good luck. This is dating in your 50s, it should not be this hard, but some make it so. If there is a man not lacking in confidence who would like to ask me out, do so, but there is no need to be rude if someone is not for you. Until the next adventure.....I can be reached through LinkedIn if you know anyone that may be a good fit for me.
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