I was having dinner the other night with my girlfriend and we naturally go on to the subject of dating and I said if we all hate online dating then why does anyone do it at all....Is it the illusion of hope or is it we really have forgotten how to date in the dawn of 2020. Before I answer that let me tell you a quick story. K (my girlfriend) and I were watching an old episode of Sex in the City...it was the episode where Carries latest bf breaks up with her via post it note. This episode was more than 20 years old but it is interesting how some things never change. That in my opinion is the equivalent of ghosting someone. I agree with Carrie that wtf....grab some balls and break up with the person in person. You do not ghost someone you have been sleeping with...that to me is a hard stop. If you are in a relationship you owe it to that person to break up with them in person not text or post it note. This I know as well as many other reasons as to why people hate online in the first place.
I have a few thought of my own as to why I hate online and you have heard me speak of them before. One of the biggest reasons is the lack of respect people seem to have for one another as well as failing to be honest. If you are looking for something casual then say so but do not message me and think I may change my mind just because you are attractive because I won't. It does amaze me how many narcissistic people are online, meaning their only reason for being online is to get an ego boost and have no intention of dating anyone. I want you all to know these people exist in real life as well. My friend William was victim of such a person. They met in the grocery....true story. Yes it can happen. They flirted...they saw each other a few times before William asked her out...once he did that is when she said...Oh I am so sorry I am married.....wtf...then why the hell are you flirting shamelessly. Ego Boost and nothing more. Hey I am not saying you cannot flirt if you are married...but I know my friend William made it perfectly clear he was interested in her and she well....she clearly thought this was fun.
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So how do we date in this day and age. Well I for one have met some nice guys online and some ego maniacs as well...also some weirdos. What do I say...I say this... I wish people would just take time getting to know one another first and not think...if there is not spark in 5 mins...then I am out. Let me give you an example of that. I went out with a guy and he said even before we met....this is just a drink...I don't want to give you the wrong impression that this is a date. I was like wtf man....relax. So yeah I was totally put off because he has not even met me yet and has resigned himself already....Jeez have a conversation first. When we did meet...I thought hmm...we had fun and I would have gone out with him again....and told him so....nope he had totally resigned himself. To me he had already made up his mind before he even met me....So why did you even go out with me in the first place. This is the biggest problem with online is people will not focus on one person at a time. I guess I am an anomaly because that is exactly what I will do. If I go out with someone and I like him....I want to see him again not go off and date 3 others and narrow it down like its some episode of the Bachelorette....alas that is where dating has gone to.
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I do hope there are others out there like me who share my sentiment when it comes to dating and that if maybe we take a step back...concentrate on one person...and if the first date was not great don't write that person off unless they were a total dud or drank 3 bottles of wine by themselves (true story...happened to me)… then you may find what you are looking for instead of the endless swiping.
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So in this new age of Dating...slow down....look beyond looks....and have fun....I have a Date this upcoming Friday with a very attractive British Man....who knows....I will say this if we have fun I will see him again and not be keeping my options open for others....Stay Tuned
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