This past week I was having dinner with two of my good friends separately, one a woman the other a man. Why do I mention this becuase after many decades of dating both are still equally baffled in some ways by the other. I may not always know what is going on in a mans head (yet thanks to my dear friend William I believe I do have much insight there as well..) BUT this is about women...what do we want...before I tell you let me tell you a story.
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I have been in sales a very long time and some say I am an attractive woman and that has its advantages, being in Sales well let me say this it is and it is not. For those attractive sales women out there you will know exactly what I am talking about. Being in sales and mostly dealing with men it is like walking a tight rope for some women such as I . I know there are some women and men who will sacrifice their integrity for a sale...I however will not under any circumstances and just recently this happened.
I met this GM of a Car company here in Calgary as he wanted to have a look at my product (vedia.ai) have a look. I did indeed meet with him in his office to show him and he seemed interested and asked if I had time to have lunch, so I said yes. I did have lunch with him, however the discussion was not about the product and turned to him being unhappy in his marriage.
I tried to keep the meeting on a professional level, this is where that tight rope scenario enters. I am a compassionate and empathetic person ( I too have been there), however I just met this person. Its the typical story...man early 60s...married...unhappy in his marriage...etc. but I am not a shrink and I know sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger. After lunch I reminded him if we can set up a meeting with his boss. Yes I am there to sell a product not be your date for lunch. This man instead asks me out to a hockey game....which I say I do not think that would be appropriate...he goes on to say well there would be other people there ( box seats)...I still declined. It was at this point that I was thinking to myself Jeez.
A few weeks later after I sent the info to his boss and have not heard back I figured oh well onwards as we say in Sales, but instead this GM calls me to ask me out on a date...like to dinner. I was thinking that is some balls to ask me out while still married. Now I am going to to tell you what women want.
What they do NOT want it is to be hit on or asked out by married men. There may be a few and I will say yes, these women are in the minority but we do not go out with married men. What is appaling to me is what goes through their mind in the first place to to think it is appropriate to ask us out. So I asked my buddy William that very question. He said Nancy ....he is playing the odds....there are women who will say yes to his proposal. I said well I turned him down the first time and clearly he did not get the picture....he said well then he is persistant and stupid. What do I want to say to this man and others like him. Just becuase Sales women like me ...we are compassionate and empathetic does NOT mean we would even entertain going out with a married man and it is so disgusting that you put us in that awkward position. If you want to end your marriage do so...but do not bring me into your drama.
SO back to what women want . We wanted to be treated with dignity...respect and professionalism. There is absolutley nothing wrong with being friendly and nice but do not confuse that with we would entertain dating a married man because I can assure you we would not.
My other conversation with my girfriend she is Dating (yes online) and having zero luck to find the right guy for her. The reason I say for her, becuase we all have different tastes in men and what we seek , but some fundamentals things are the same.
I personally am looking for a man who I can converse with, one who knows wine...likes the ballet, likes to go out but also is content to stay home every once in awhile to listen to Sinatra while we would cook together. He would have to be a non smoker and have to be in shape.
The most important thing I am seeking in a man is someone who is not wanting to rush into anything, seems today that men think that if you agree to go to dinner with them that is code I am willing to sleep with you....whatever happened to getting to know a person before that happens.
Back to my girlfriend, she met this guy online...they had one date and then texted a lot. For the record...I think texting to get to know someone is a waste of time...if you are not willing to call me or meet for a second date...not your pen pal. After a bit of texting he told her that he did not see a future with her for whatever reason. Now what I would have said...hey no worries take care....instead she said well why not a fwb scenario. NO man will refuse this. I said why would you do that? If he will agree to that....in hopes you will turn it into a relationship....it will not and never happen. I have heard this too many times where women will agree to this in hopes of something more....it never will....Many poles have been done on this and men who agree to this do not even see these women as human beings. If you are seeking sex fill your boots...if a relationship stay away.
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Women do seek to be in a relationship with a man they care about ...admire...respect...one they can converse with and have great sex with but do not agree to a FWB if you seek more.
Not all men just want sex from women but it seems the ones that seek more are getting harder and harder to find. If you fit my criteria....give me a shout and oh don't be married....because I will tell you the same thing I told the other married guy recently....never call me again....what you did was wrong and I have far too much respect for myself to settle. I hope in some ways this helps men to understand women just a little better...have a great daty
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